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FTD Shouts Yahoo!

by Infinite on December 25, 2006

‘Twas the week before Christmas, when all through the net
Florist saw Yahoo! Local showing something instead;
Of  their own URLs for their real flower shops,
FTD.com’s link did Yahoo Local just plop.
Florist listings lead shoppers to the ‘national’ site,
Where commissions and fees FTD’d rake in with delight.
Or switch sales to boxes of FedExed bouquets; 
Local florists unneeded to make those displays.
Leonard Green’s Group just laughed at the URL swaps,
Knowing florists weren’t able Yahoo’s linking to stop.
Short-term profits! they thought ’til we unload this turkey
Hope The Street doesn’t notice our numbers are murky.
With a little young driver, fear in florists he strikes;
Wondering if Yahoo’s plot was a plan of this Mike’s.
“Now, Wal-Mart! now, Kroger! now, Stop and Shop stores!
On, Alberton’s! Safeway! And other grocers front doors!
To the top of the Googles! to the top of most Search!
Killing profits of florists they’ve long left in the lurch.
He spoke not a word, but went right straight to work,
Thinking ’Send all your money, shoppers dollars we’ll divert,
To our drop shift gift boxes and surprise ‘service’ fees,
Soon we’re out of this biz with all the profits we can squeeze.’
From the goodwill we’ve had off those real florists’ backs,
Hope a buyer soon’s reeled in by elves Goldman Sachs.’
We heard FTD exclaim, as they saw Yahoo’s news,
“Who needs florist? ‘Cept when they pay us their dues.”

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